Renaissance Minds - Tammy Cook; Chicago Life Coach, Business Coach, Speaker

Volume 3, Issue 1
January 6, 2009

Happy 2009!
I hope that the new year proves to be a very positive and successful one, full of love, laughter, and happiness.

Today's newsletter is a bit different. Instead of my standard format, I am going to share a very personal story. As a coach, I spend my days listening to the stories of others - I hope you enjoy me turning the tables here and sharing a little bit of my own personal story with you. If you're not interested in the story, make sure you still learn how you can make 2009 your best year ever!

Learning to Dance in the Rain
We've all heard the common aphorism, "When it rains, it pours." Well, my life over the past 15 months exemplifies that pithy phrase! Through a "series of unfortunate events," to use the title of a popular children's book series, my life has been in a major upheaval over the past year-plus.

In October of 2007, my younger son was involved in a car accident and traumatically lost one of his very close friends. My family, the school, and a legion of professionals worked diligently to help my sensitive son struggle through his grief and pain for many months. This is something that will affect him for the rest of his life, and I'm so grateful that we had so many caring and supportive people to help us through it.

This past winter, my older son lost one of his best friends to a sudden illness. At twenty years old, he's struggling to cope with the pain, shock, and grief of losing a best friend. At that age, we honestly believe we're indestructible. The reality of how fragile life is hit my family very hard with these experiences. Both my sons have gone through experiences that I never had to cope with at their young ages.

And this past summer, my husband of 19 years decided he wanted a divorce. While there were things we both could have done to improve the marriage, I truly had no idea that he was feeling that our relationship was hopeless. This completely pulled the rug out from under my feet.

So with just one painful blow seeming to come right after another, it has been a year of loss, grieving, pain, and introspection. Over the past several months, I've really struggled at times with coping with the seemingly suffocating burden of stress and grief. With the help of many books, two counselors, several coaches, and a lot of inner exploration, I have managed to distill some of the keys to what the suffering I've been through has taught me. I would like to share three of the lessons with you.

Lesson 1 - Vulnerability leads to caring and support
I have the tendency to withdraw when I'm suffering. Instead of sharing it, I just to want to curl up into a ball all alone and hope the pain goes away. Well, I learned that this technique doesn't really lead to any healing in the long run. I found that when I reached out, opened up, and became vulnerable, I received immeasurable support from friends and acquaintances. And the people who love and like me wanted to be there to support me. So by opening up instead of shutting down, not only was I helping myself to heal, but I was also giving those people close to me the gift of being able to help somebody else.

Lesson 2 - Trauma and grief teach us compassion
After walking around in a fog of grief and pain for months, I finally realized that many people are coping with difficult situations at any point in time. This in turn has made me much more compassionate and empathetic. I now have the tendency to be more patient and understanding with others I also learned that to comfort others, you don't have to know what to say. Just being there for them and sharing love and compassion is comforting.

Lesson 3 - Life's bumps and bruises are part of the process of living
Often, we attempt to comfort ourselves or others with the phrase, "This too shall pass." Focusing on the fact that the situation is temporary supposedly alleviates some of the pain. However, I've realized that there's always something else right around the bend; that's actually what being human is all about. Not just in my life, but I've seen it over and over in the lives of my family, friends, and clients.

What to take away
Last month a client shared this wonderful analogy with me.

dance!

What a beautiful concept. This simple thought comforted me more than I can describe. I realized that "something" will always come up. And when that something has settled down, and life is just getting back to what passes for normal... something ELSE will then come up! Life isn't about blocking out the difficult and painful parts, and just enjoying the smooth times. Life is about loving every step of the way - the fun ones, the painful ones, the easy ones, and the challenging ones. After the suffering of the past months, I have decided to learn to dance in the rain. By the end of 2009, I intend to be able to do the twist, the mambo, and maybe even a little hip-hop!

2009 Will be my Best Year Ever!
In spite of all of these stressors and struggles, I still managed to focus enough to triple my business income in 2008, with the intention to double that again in 2009. I am completely committed to make 2009 great! And I would love to help many OTHERS make 2009 great too. So here's the deal. I am conducting a FREE 2-day teleclass in January to help YOU make 2009 YOUR Best Year Ever, too! Your investment is simply the long-distance call and 2 hours of your time. Your return? I won't be cheesy enough to say "priceless," but I do guarantee that if you attend these calls and implement the information, 2009 WILL be your best year - EVER!

Register now to ensure your success in 2009, and beyond!

Warmly,
Tammy

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